Sunday, June 30, 2019

Open


Do you know how it feels when you get pushed inside the train when you had no intentions of going anywhere?
Maybe you don't know. Maybe you do.
You are small. You are naive. You are new.
The train catches tremendous speed and you don't know what to expect.
You look outside the window.
You dare to stand in the open door.
You feel the gushy wind right on your face.
You wonder if it should blow your mind.
But mostly it doesn't.
You turn inside and there is nothing except you who is tumbing, who is getting tossed around, and who is getting bruised.
... and the people outside continue to envy what you got.
It is spectacular, it is embarassing, it is complete, it is you.
You are laughed at, you are questioned, you are ignored, but you are also made an icon.
You imagined getting off the train many times but never managed to do it.
You just stared outside every time.
You look at your scars and wonder if there was ever a life outside the train.
You went places which not many imagined to cross in one life time.
Though you hated it, it was the train that gave you everything.
The life as you call it, now has been spent more inside the train than outside of it.
Your life is the train.
You imagine, what if, it only had a purpose attached to it.
What if you found more reasons to justify why you are still on train.
Will it have made it more bearable? Or would it have been just the same?
You look for the reasons irrespective and you do find some.
It's never late but it never satisfies.
You keep going. Or is it the train, that keeps going?
Now the train has arrived at the stop.
You got to deboard very soon.
And suddenly you wonder, is that what you want to do now? Is it all over? Or do you have something more left in you?
May be you do. may be you do not. What if, you don't deboard!
... and perhaps it continues.

*****************



A few weeks ago, in San Diego, I got an opportunity to listen to Andre Agassi live. For someone so famous for being rebel, and sometimes rebel without a cause, it was a very humble person I found on the stage. His story was instantly gripping. And then of course, I googled to check ये कब हुआ? This is what I found.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Open-Autobiography-Andre-Agassi/dp/0007281439

I am sure not everyone is so illeterate about the Tennis world as much as I was but then by the end of the book, it's not tennis that stays with you. It's something altogether very different.

बुक पढके आना. मग बाकी बोलू.


PS: BTW... What's the point of this post in the middle of the world cup and especially when Indian Cricket team just lost to England? But then, exactly that's the point.